Monday, October 06, 2008

How you kids tell when they are angry/un-happy?

Lately i notice Fearles got a very bad habit, when he is angry, he is not happy, his request didn't meet, he will show his displeasure. He won't tell us he is not happy, but he use his "action". He like to rub his hand on the pants like got thosand ants biting on him, and rub it hard and with anger! I so suprise to see him like this, not only once, it's a few times.

Last night when we are having dinner outside, he request to have his pacifier, which i told him "No", only bedtime can have pacifier, he start show me his "angry action" again, rub his hand on the pants and pout his lips and make un-happy sound. When he is standing he will step his feet left right left right, he like vent his anger out by doing this. I try talk to him nicely, but it doesn't work, end up i have to surrender and give him what he wants.

This boy is really hard and stubborn. Last night after back home, i told him, he cannot do this, i don't like to see him doing this, and it's not good and not nice too. Told him, no more doing this again, he nodded his head, but i wonder does he understand what i mean? I don't think if i beat him by doing this, he cannot understand too, which will lead him to have more negative thinking?

Hope this is just part of the growing, but i really don't like to see him act like this, i hope i can have more patience. Anyone can share with me on this?

25 comments:

Blur Angel said...

my way of showing my anger was to TERBALIKAN ALL THE THINGS i see.. i remembered using my full force to try to over turn the sofa last time , of course i failed la.. ( was only about 4-5 years old back then)

Don't worry , i don't over turn sofas when i'm mad now.. so i guess it is just the growing phase! :)

L'abeille said...

Hehe..I also wanna start a trend to show XT I'm unhappy liao hehehe

mybabybay said...

Tim also has an angry habit, he will disturb his sister. But I will not give in.

HN said...

Ohhh, my boy shows his temper since he was one year old .. He used to bang his hand several times on the table/ or any hard surface... sounds much more aggressive than your boy huh?

Vien said...

Ooo..better not give in; otherwise, you will enforce the bad habit.

allthingspurple said...

Do you think Fearless is not openly showing his anger because he is afraid that you may love him less for it? Just a thought.

I know that I do not spend much quality time with my 2nd kid compared to my first.

While Kimberly would huff and turn her nose in the air, or click her fingers and say, "oh, pickles!" and openly show her displeasure, my toddler would get distress instead because she is afraid to show her anger. I find it quite worrisome. I rather she slam and bang stuff than be afraid to show her emotion. I like to know more about how to handle it too. Sigh..not easy being a mother, yea?

allthingspurple said...

oh.I got sidetracked. Annie, my email address is christenetee@yahoo.com.

janicepa said...

ervin throw things.. lagi dahsyat and ganas then fearles ar... then he will beat ppl ar... only at 1 year old ar.. at least fearles is not violent !! hahahaha...

mayb it's a phase lah ... try talking to him lor.. hopefully he will understand lor.. hahaha...

Wonderful Life said...

Hmm... i think if for my hubby or my mil... sure kena canning liao when talking to the kid didn't work out!!

2ma said...

shan leo will scream & cry!!! and shortly after, he will apologise to mummy BUT he will insist mummy to say she is fine in the manner to his liking!!! if not, he will keep telling mummy "no, not this way (while continue crying!!!)" when he does this, mummy will be annoyed & ignore him. when mummy ignore him, he cry even louder!!!

Krystal said...

it's difficult to strike a balance. i find it very difficult to discipline a child when we're out. most of the time i just ignore his request and sometimes, Ryan will ask me...mama, why aren't you talking to me??

Irene said...

my lil missy dono how to talk yet, so she will shout and cry when she don't get what she wants. i also duno later when she grow older, how ler.. esssh esssh... i wish i had more patiences too :(

laundryamah said...

wah Fearles considered very mild lor..mine will scream till the whole place can stop any actions and will throw tantrums..very scary!

Annie Q said...

Blur Angel: hehehe, trying to over turn a sofa! Wow! I would prefer Fearles to throw out his anger like you, rather than he keep it to himself.

l'abeille: u ar, now u're the most happiest person, bride to be wor!!

mybabybay: hmmm, i think each kids do have their own way to vent their anger.

HN: Like i said, i rather like Fearles to show it out rather he keep it, and do those rub his hand on the pant.

vien: ya, don't give in, but have to talk to him in a nice way lo. :(

allthingpurple: Yes!! U got it right!! He is not openly show his temper, this make me worried. If he would just let his anger out like throw things, or banging or screaming, yes i know it's not good, but rather than he is quiet and keep it all. Maybe he want more attention from me, but i did treat them the same, i hug them and kiss them always and equal too. Ya, like you said, not easy to be a mother.

janicepa, wonderful life, 2ma, krystal, irene and laundryamah: screaming, throwing thing, banging things, i think this is most kids or babies reaction when they get angry, at least they show it out, but Fearles is keep quiet, but he is angry and he keep it to himself, i rather he can show it out, u get what i mean?

Mommy to Chumsy said...

muhaahaahaha...really funny lah *trying to imagine his action* :D mine would keep rubbing her blouse and start crying. sometimes she'll do the bollywood thing, you know.... the rolling on the floor part :S

slavemom said...

I think that's Fearles way of showing his anger - when he rub his hands on the pants. Hopefully reasoning will work on him.

Alicia said...

if my son angry he will either shout or talk very loud but usually if i tell him im angry he dare not challenge me and his anger will subside hahaha

LittleLamb said...

I hope this is just a phase and he will pass it very fast..

Maybe have to talk to him a few times , reason with him..and praise him when he dont wear juit jut...

just my thoughts..but thanks for this post. At least i know in future i gotta watch out from Philp.

jazzmint said...

LOL, laughing at blur angel's comment hahaha....

i guess it's only a phase. Faythe shows her anger with her fierce face and fold her arms together...what I do is ignore her after I told her she can't do that. Vyktore pulak he will stomp his feet (both together) and make a high pitch scream, but he does that while looking at you to see what's ur reaction haha...so what I'll do is tell him no and give him a stern *hnmmm*, which he's afraid.

Binky, Blogging and Such said...

Every kids have different ways of expressing their anger, and parents usually have different methods in handling this. But I guess the general approach is to not give in, say "no" or "stop" firmly to him and ignore his tantrums. When the time comes when the child feels calmer, only then have a sensible talk with him to let him know why you as the parent did not want him to do that.

Having said that, I also understand why it is more difficult to handle an angry child while outside, e.g. supermarkets, restaurants, etc, where people are all around you and tend to be judgmental. For me, I would either distract my son with something else, bring him out of the restaurant and talk to him for a while (to have a change of environment) or just leave whatever we are doing at that time and head straight home. An occasional give-in to their demands are okay but not encouraged. I think it could just be a phase for Fearless - it's just a matter of time. My Ian used to whack other kids' heads when he was about 10-13 months, and I have to constantly tell him "no" sternly and remove him from the activity area until he understands that I don't approve those actions.

Yeah, it's tough to be a parent, eh? Good luck!

FAMILY FIRST said...

My 1.5 yr old son also shows his dissatisfaction or anger by throwing things in the house! He will throw anything like toys, cushion, remote control or anything he can lay his hands on! And throw up a big fuss and roll all over the floor even in malls! I also sad & dont know what to do. Scolding does not work. Talking nicely also cannot. Unless I distract him with something else more interesting, then he forgets the first issue. Pening.

etceteramommy said...

So far Ryan's temperament has been pretty mild (touch wood). When he doesnt get his wish, he make crocodile cries. But I have huge problem preventing him from hitting sotong. Sigh.. he promised me he wont do it when I put him in naughty room.. but later he did it again. Sigh.. sigh.. hopefully they will grow out of it.

huisia said...

when jo is angry, he would scream and cry, normally i just let him be without much reprimanding him, only reprimand him after he got calm down.

jacss said...

wuah..really lots of different expressions of kids hor...!

actually...judging by d 'type' of character fearles carry, being more of quiet & passive type, i'm no surprise wif this way of expressing his angers/unhappiness!! it even applies to an adult who tend to keep to themselves,.... also keep things to himself & prefer not to show out!!

so if fearles continue to grow up as a person who keeps to himself(pray for othwise), most likely this would be his character! while it's not a violent thing but it isn't healthy at all! coz we all like to be an expressive person!! so now that u discovered this early & d fact that he's stil such little toddler, i think it's important to watch out, 'improve' (even if not change entirely) and hopefully he is better off from being too passive a person!!

looks like u really have to care for yr boys DIFFERENTly...good luck ha!

as for sean & scot, apart from screaming & yelling to the top of their lungs when angrying with us, they also tend to hit/fight betw themselves when unhappy PLUS had been upgraded to 'verbal' abuse lately saying things that are either 'not approved' or tend to make d oth party unpleasant....
eg. stupid, smelly poo-poo, idiot...oopps...terrible hor!!??

IMMomsDaughter said...

Ha ha ha....I thought that was cute. At least compared to my monkeys who will cross their arms and pout at you!